Falling in Love is Never Easy
by Falon-Jareth101
Summary: Penny knows that she is in love with Sheldon... now all she needs is for him to realise he feels the same way. Not a very good summary, but i promise it's worth the read! x
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one:

It had been about 2 and a half months since the guys had left for the Arctic and Penny was bored out of her mind. She was sat at home watching her newly bought Star Trek DVDs, which she had taken a liking to since the guys had left. As much as she hated to admit it, she really missed them. They were her nerds, and she wasn't sure what to do without them. Even though she claimed that she had better things to do than hang out with them, when they were gone she had realised that she organised her schedule around what they liked to do instead of her usual social life. She glanced at her calendar on her wall and saw that in exactly 2 weeks they would be back and she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that it was so far away.

She got up to make herself some microwave popcorn when she heard a loud crash from the apartment across the hall. She froze, her head turning towards the sound. Uh oh. She dashed to the door, grabbing the guy's spare key from the hook and sneaking across the hall. She pressed her ear to the door and heard several crashes from inside the apartment. She couldn't help but feel scared as she knew that this was not Leonard and Sheldon home early from their trip as there was no way Sheldon would allow them to wreck his apartment, she could almost hear him scolding them in her mind. A loud crash from behind the door caused her to jump away from the door with a small squeak. She was almost sure she heard a man curse from inside. She took a breath and unlocked the door before she could change her mind and was blinded by the bright beam of a torch. Penny cried out as she was tackled out the way and a man rushed past her and down the stairs, leaving her in a disgruntled heap on the hallway floor.

Penny desperately tried not to cry as she got to her feet and poked her head through the open door of the guy's apartment. The first thing she noticed was that the place was completely trashed; as she took a tentative step into the apartment she also saw that the window was wide open. She dashed forward and slammed it shut, letting out a small squeak and the noise made her jump. Then she checked the whole apartment to try to see how much had been taken, but the quiet apartment was making her scared, almost as if she could feel an imaginary someone watching her. She began to sob as she made her way into the living room and grabbed the phone, dialling the number she knew by heart but had never used.

"Hello?" he said, his voice sounding tinny and far away.

"Sheldon..." she sobbed.

"Penny? Is that you? Why are you in our apartment? Is that..? Are you...crying?"

"Penny's crying? Let me talk to her!" she could hear Leonard and Howard chime in the background. She managed a watery smile as she imagined them squabbling over the phone.

"Enough!" she heard Sheldon shout. "Penny is obviously in distress now will you pipe down so we can ask her about it" she heard him cough awkwardly "Penny? I'm going to put you on speaker phone alright?"

"Yeah" she said sniffling.

She was greeted by a chorus of "Penny!" "Are you ok?" and "Don't cry baby I'll be home soon."

"Ew Howard" she said smiling.

"Now Penny tell us what's wrong." Leonard said soothingly "Did you get dumped?"

"What? No!" she said bursting into fresh tears "I'm not that shallow that id interrupt your important science trip thingy just because some guy dumped me! God!"

"What happened then?"

"Some guy broke into your apartment! I tried to stop him but he knocked me to the floor!" by the end of the sentence her voice was so high pitched she was sure that she had hurt their ears.

"What?!?" Sheldon squawked "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

She was flattered that Sheldon had broken out of his "cyborg" self long enough to ask how she was before he demanded to know what had been taken.

"No I'm fine, but your place is wrecked. I'm so sorry I didn't get here in time! But I thought maybe it was you guys home early so I didn't think to check until I heard a big crash, and by then the guy had already took some stuff but I can't see what and I—"

"Penny, why does it seem like you think we are going scold you for something you had no control over?"

She blinked. Sheldon wasn't blaming her? Really? "So you're not mad?"

"Well of course not. Penny the only reason we would be mad was if the thief has somehow tainted our most valuable collectables." There was a silence. "Oh god!" Sheldon exclaimed and the conversation was taken off speaker phone.

"Penny its Leonard, I'm afraid Sheldon has erm gone to the bathroom."

"Right" she sniffled knowing full well that Sheldon had gone into panic mode.

"Listen, just go home for tonight and don't worry about it. We will be home soon so just go to sleep OK?"

"Yeah, you're right. OK well I guess I'll see you guys in 2 weeks."

They said goodbye and hung up. She looked around the room, sighed heavily and began to clean up the mess. It took two days for Penny to get the apartment back to its original state. She felt a surge of pride as she finished tidying, followed by a surge of exhaustion and she collapsed onto the sofa and fell into a deep sleep.

The next thing she knew it was dark and she was being shaken awake.

"Penny, wake up." "Leonard she's in my spot! Make her move." "Well if it isn't a blonde goddess! No! Don't wake her till I've taken the picture!" She blinked as she sat up and was confronted by four very furry faces looking curiously down at her.

"You're back?" She said sleepily.

"Yes we are in fact "back" and you are in my spot." Sheldon replied as though he was informing a small child. She squealed with happiness and threw her arms around Leonard hugging him tight, before moving on to Howard who, true to his nature, tried to cop a feel. She stopped in front of Raj. "Hi Raj." She waited for him to say something back, as was her habit. He struggled for a moment before looking at her helplessly and she couldn't help but kiss him on the cheek as she hugged him, he was just too cute.

She turned to Sheldon, who was looking down at her warily. She considered for a moment, deciding what to do, when she realised that she had probably missed him the most. As she looked up into his blue eyes, slightly covered by his dark hair, she realised that she missed all of his annoying traits. Like the way he always made her move from his spot when she'd sat there to tease him, when he constantly told her off for something that wouldn't have bothered anyone else but drove him crazy, the crazy way he knocked her door at exactly eleven in the morning. So she broke out into a huge smile and threw her arms around his neck before he could stop her, stretching to the very tips of her toes to reach him. The other guys gasped as they all waited for Sheldon's response. He froze. His whole body going rigid, before he slowly brought his arms around her and patted her shoulder awkwardly with one hand while the other had slipped around her waist, she tightened her hold on his neck in response. She could hear the guys mumbling about this interesting development, but she didn't want to let go until he made her because she knew that he would never let her touch him like this again. After several long moments he finally brought his hands up and gently removed her arms from around his neck with shaky fingers. She stepped back and braced herself along with Leonard, Howard and Raj to see his reaction. He looked slightly shocked and just stared at her until he finally said, "That's strike 2 Penny."

She burst out laughing "What was Strike one?"

"You were in my spot, when you know that's not allowed."

She giggled, patted him on the arm and turned to the others. "God I've really missed you guys! How come you're back so early?"

"Well we had gotten most of the results we needed, so when we heard what happened we thought it best that we returned." Leonard said nervously twisting his fingers as he spoke, she stared at him fondly.

"Well I for one am so glad you guys are back. I think I cleaned the place ok, but I only just finished a couple of hours ago so I don't know if I got it back to how you guys like it." She cast a nervous glance around the room, searching for anything she might have missed. Sheldon shuffled past her and sat himself down in his spot, sighing as he relaxed into the cushions.

"Seems fine to me." He murmured and his eyes slowly began drift shut. Penny shot a curious glance at the others and they shrugged as they watched Sheldon drift to sleep on the sofa. She smiled softly and said goodbye, giving each of them another hug as she knew they must all be very tired. She went back into her apartment for the first time in two days and for some reason it felt warmer. She went to sleep with a smile on her face that night.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day she popped across the hall to see if the guys needed anything from the supermarket.

"Hey guys I'm just popping out to the store, do you want me to get you your usual stuff?"

"That would be great thanks Penny." Leonard called from the kitchen. She grabbed their shopping money from the counter and turned to leave.

"Hey where's Sheldon?"

"He went out shopping with Howard and Raj"

"If he's out shopping then why do you guys need me to get your groceries?"

"He's gone out to buy a baseball bat. Don't ask"

"A baseball bat? Seriously?" then it dawned on her "Is this because of the burglary?"

"Yeah." Leonard said reluctantly "He has taken it upon himself to "up" our security."

"Well that's good right?"

"Of course, but he's just gonna end up hurting himself. The man has no upper body strength."

She giggled and waved, turning to leave. She was leaving the apartment building when she saw the guys getting out of Raj's car.

"Hey guys did you get the bat?" she said jogging up to meet them. Raj waved it happily at her while Howard looked slightly angry. "You ok Howard?"

"Ask _Sheldon._" He practically spat Sheldon's name and stormed inside. She looked at Raj in surprise but he shook his head, not knowing what was wrong either, and hurried to follow Howard upstairs. She turned to a sheepish looking Sheldon.

"Oh honey what did you do now?"

"I simply won the argument that engineering is not as beneficial as physics. He didn't seem to like that very much."

"I don't doubt that." she said. "Don't you think you should apologise to him? He looked really upset."

He sighed dramatically. "You're right, of course I should apologise to him immediately." He began to head inside the building leaving a baffled Penny standing on the sidewalk. "Penny." he called from the doorway.

"Yeah honey?"

"I'm glad you're alright, I know it was quite a scare for you to take on that burglar for us, and for that I thank you."

She beamed with pleasure. "Thanks Sheldon, that was really sweet of you."

"Sarcasm?" he asked tilting his head.

She laughed "No, not this time sweetie. Now go apologise to Howard."

"Damn when will I get the hang of that?" he muttered and headed inside.

She smiled and got in her car to go to the store.


	3. Chapter 3

Later that night when she got home from work she got changed into her usual pink shorts and blue tank top and went next door to join the guys for Thai food.

"Penny here is yours." Leonard said the second she entered their apartment. She threw herself into the arm chair and tucked into her food, idly listening while they argued over some theory Leonard was working on. She noticed that Sheldon and Howard were sat next to each other and she was very glad to see that they had made up, despite the fact that they were arguing now. The fight got so heated in fact, well as heated as nerds could get, that Raj after twitching awkwardly since the fight began threw down his chopsticks and shouted "Shut up!" causing everyone to stop and stare at him in amazement.

"Well said sweetie!" she said cheerfully saluting him, he smiled proudly at her before turning back to his food then he realised he had nothing to eat with. She sighed and slipped him a clean set of chopsticks.

"OK now that you guys have shut up can I ask you something?" Penny asked.

They all muttered agreeably so she carried on. "When are you guys gonna cut your hair? You guys look like a big foot family reunion." She couldn't help but snicker at her own joke.

"Yeah we know, but we haven't had time to book an appointment yet." Leonard said dejectedly.

"Well hey why don't I cut your hair for you?" she said.

"You have training I assume?" Sheldon said with one eyebrow raised.

The other three looked at her as if to say _just say yes for the love of god! _

"Yes of course!" she lied smoothly "I cut peoples hair all the time!" that part was actually true.

"Well then I guess you may proceed." He said reluctantly and went off to find the hair scissors and a towel.

"OK who's first!" she said happily when he returned. Leonard hopped up and went to wet his hair, she shook her head sadly; it seemed he still had a crush on her which always made her feel guilty that she can't return his feelings. He sat on the floor with his back leaning against her legs and she placed the towel around his neck to catch the stray hairs. Once she was done she sent him to the bathroom to shave and Howard took his place, then Raj when she was done. By the time she had finished Raj everyone was bored, and they decided to go to the comic book store which put Sheldon in a foul mood as he stormed off to wet his hair. She glared as they dashed out the apartment before he got back.

"At least buy him something while you're there!" she called after them as the door swung shut. Eventually he came out of the bathroom and sat back in his spot.

"Erm Sheldon you have to sit on the floor so I can reach your hair."

"I am not sitting on the floor. This is my spot Penny."

She groaned and knelt on the sofa. "Scoot forward" she said and he did so she slipped behind him and sat on the back of the sofa with his back between her legs. He seemed a little reluctant but surprisingly he didn't put up much of a fight, it seems it he was comfortable as long as he was in his spot. She couldn't help but blush as he settled between her legs, even though the situation was not remotely sexual. She placed the towel around his neck and combed out his thick dark hair.

"So what type of cut do you want? What you had before or do you want something different? I mean you have a lot of hair now there's a lot to work with."

"My usual cut, but a little longer than before please."

"Okay you got it honey"

Twenty minutes later she had finally finished his hair and was cleaning the stray hairs from his neck.

"OK all done!" she pronounced proudly. His hair was now a lot shorter but long enough to run your fingers through, she had even given him some bangs that showed off his blue eyes, and she was glad to see that he still looked the same. She handed him the mirror nervously so he could see what she had done. There was a very pregnant silence while he examined his new hair cut. She slid from the back of the sofa until she was next to him and watched him, biting her lip in anticipation.

"I must say Penny," he began "I hated it when I first saw what you had done to my hair since it was different from my usual style. However after more deliberation I have decided that this cut in fact suits me very well. Thank you Penny."

She beamed. "Thank you Sheldon. Now you can go out and pick up all those cute physics girls." She said, using the towel to get rid of the itchy hairs that were still clinging determinedly to his pale neck.

"Penny I don't see what my upper body strength has to do with women." He said

She held in a giggle. "No! Pick up as in... attract!"

He blinked at her.

"You know to get a girlfriend?" she said helplessly

"Oh I have no need for a girlfriend. In fact I have no doubt that having one would hinder my present endeavours."

"What? That's crazy! There are lots of good reasons to have a girlfriend. Are you saying you haven't had fun with your previous girlfriends?"

"Well my experience with Ramona was, while very helpful to my career, highly uncomfortable and put a huge strain on my daily routine."

"Yeah okay Ramona is a totally bad example. But there have been others right?"

He looked away from her, his face contorting into his usual "stressed" expression.

"Ramona has been your only girlfriend?" she asked in wonder "But how can that be? You're a great guy! You have a cool job, you're good looking, and you're totally smart. Why haven't you had more girlfriends?"

"As I have said before I neither want nor need a girlfriend."

"Wait, hold on a second. Does this mean you haven't kissed anyone before?"

He blushed.

"Sheldon! That's insane!"

"I don't see why."

"Well...it just is!" she thought for a moment, deciding whether or not to suggest it. "Hey I have an idea. Why don't we kiss? You can see it as one of your social experiments?" she felt so embarrassed for suggesting it, but she couldn't let the poor guy carry on never having been kissed, and who knows, maybe it will spark his interest in relationships.

"I don't see how that will benefit me in any way."

"Sure it will! It will be another experience to put under your belt!" she winced slightly at her choice of words.

"Penny, I am not denying that you are in fact a very beautiful woman, and I am flattered that you would offer to do this. However I am going to refuse on the basis that it will upset Leonard and that will in turn make him intolerable to live with."

"Oh" she thought about that for a moment "Well we don't have to tell him." She wasn't sure why she was pushing this so hard, and if she was honest she didn't want to delve into that in more detail as she was afraid of what she might discover.

"Penny you know full well that I am incapable of keeping a secret."

"Fine" she said and before he could do anything she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. To say he was startled was an enormous understatement as he leapt about a foot into the air. He pulled back and stared at her in horror and she immediately regretted it.

"There it's happened, now relax and enjoy the experiment." She said playfully wiggling her eyebrows, hoping the entire time that he won't completely reject her and embarrass her.

He sighed in exasperation. "Fine! Since it has already happened and you are my friend I don't see why we shouldn't explore the experiment."

"Aw I'm your friend?" she said flushing with pleasure.

"Of course you are Penny," he said baffled "why else would I have tolerated you for three years?"

"Of course." She said her smile fading slightly. "You ready?"

"Ready? Well I suppose in this instance one can assume the I am, however—"

"Sweetie? Not the time." She said shaking her head and he clamped his jaw shut. "Now close your eyes."

He obediently closed his eyes, though she could see his hands were clenched into tight fists. Penny knew that she needed to do it quickly before either of them lost their nerve, so she leaned forward and caught his lips with hers again, raising her hand to his cheek to try to calm him down as he froze beneath her lips. She pulled away slightly to reposition her lips, and as their lips met again she could feel some of the tension leave Sheldon and he relaxed into the kiss. She felt a bit braver and so she began to slowly move her lips against his and felt a surge of triumph as he gently placed his hands on her waist and clumsily began to return the kiss. She moved the hand that was on his cheek until her fingers laced through his hair and his fingers dug a little tighter into her waist. Taking this as encouragement she slowly ran her tongue over his lower lip, asking for entrance and was surprised as his lips parted immediately and their tongues touched. In that instant the kiss changed from shy and curious, to clumsy and erotic. She forgot that this was merely a social experiment and threw herself completely into the kiss. Her arms locking around his neck and he instinctively pulled her closer, his arms slipping around her holding her against him, their tongues moving together sensually causing her to moan slightly. She pulled away after a couple more seconds and they were both breathing as though they had run a marathon instead of a 40 second kiss. They stared at each other uncertainly; their arms still wrapped around each other, until she gently untangled her arms from his hair and scooted backwards down the sofa, never looking away from his gaze as she was unsure as how he would react. He sat there frozen, his arms hovering as though they were still wrapped around her, the memory of which made her blush.

"Sheldon sweetie?" she said nervously "Are you ok? Should I go?"

He twitched as if he only just registered she was still there and nodded stiffly before walking out the room, his hand over his mouth. She sat there until she heard his bedroom door close. She got to her feet unsteadily and left the apartment. She entered her own apartment and sank onto her sofa, tears spilling down her cheeks. What had she done?


	4. Chapter 4

4:

She didn't see Sheldon for the next few days as she had managed to snag a couple of extra shifts at work, since she desperately needed the money. So the next time she saw him was at Halo night. She popped her head around their door.

"Leonard? I think you left your clothes in the laundry room again, these yours?" she said holding the basket out for him to see.

"Err... yeah it is thanks Penny" he said flushing with embarrassment as he rushed over to take the basket from her.

"No problem honey." She said with a smile. "Hey guys!" she said cheerfully as she saw the other three shouting excitedly at the television and they played Halo. Howard and Raj nodded at her before delving back into the game, only Sheldon avoided eye contact with her and it made her throat hurt. Seeing him like this, so close to her and yet so inaccessible made her realise what she had suspected for some time was true. She was attracted to Sheldon Cooper. It had started when he had hugged her at Christmas, his touch had been completely unlike any other she had ever experienced, so gentle, shy and genuine. It had made her happier than she could remember her ever being before. Ever since then she had tried to be noticed by him more, touching him whenever the opportunity arose. And now he wouldn't even look at her. She realised now that the kiss had also been a test for her to see if he could ever like her back, she longed for him to look at her again, even if it was to tell her off.

"Mind if I watch you guys play?" she asked Leonard as he hurried to hide his laundry basket from the guys, she couldn't blame him not wanting them to see his labelled underwear.

"Err sure just take a seat." He sat back down in the armchair, leaving the only free seat between Howard and Sheldon on the sofa. She ignored her glowing cheeks and threw herself into the seat as if nothing was wrong. Her leg accidently brushed Sheldon's and she felt him tense, but she deliberately didn't move her leg as she wanted him to be aware of her. These past 3 months with him gone had been awful, and she was so glad he was back as she only realised how much she had missed him, missed all of them until he had come home. Eventually the game finished and they put on an anime film she didn't really understand. Inevitably she drifted off to sleep about 20 minutes into the movie, and the next thing she knew the lights were being turned back on and the movie was over. She was reluctant to move from her position as she was so comfortable, until she realised that there was no way she could be leaning on anything as she had been sitting in the middle. Her eyes shot open and she looked up to see Sheldon's ear. She froze as she realised she had fallen asleep on his shoulder. She slowly sat upright again, not wanting to alert their position to the others. However she noticed Leonard turn away from them quickly as she settled upright. Great, he had seen them. She glanced nervously up at Sheldon. He was sat rigidly, his hands clenched in tight fists.

"Sorry Sheldon" she whispered to him as the others raved about the movie. He didn't reply as his gaze fixed on Leonard. Her eyes filled with tears and she hastily got to her feet.

"Well I better get home!" she said pasting a fake smile on her face "I have work tomorrow but thanks guys this has been fun!" she waved to them all and hurried to her own apartment. Once the door was locked she slid down it so she was sat on the floor with her back leaning up it, sobs shaking her body violently. How could she have been so stupid as to kiss him? Now she had ruined any chance she ever had. Not that she had had much of a shot to begin with, as she wasn't clever, or funny, or anything that he could ever see as worthy. She was just a dumb, blonde, wannabe actress, who's only paying job has been to wait tables at the Cheesecake Factory, and most of the time she couldn't even get that right. He must hate her.

_Knock, knock, knock _"Penny"

_Knock, knock, knock _"Penny"

_Knock, knock, knock _"Penny"

She froze. What was he doing here? She hastily rubbed the black marks under her eyes and straightened herself out, desperately hoping he couldn't tell she had been crying. She opened the door.

"Hey honey! What's up?"

"I need to talk to you." He said urgently.

Crap.

"Ok well come on in." She said opening the door wider so he could slip past her. He stood in the middle of her living room with his back to her. She shut the door and went to sit on the sofa, knowing that he would talk to her in his own time. Slowly he moved to sit next to her on the sofa and she longed to scoot closer to him but she didn't want to push him. However the minutes dragged on and she found herself unable to keep quiet anymore.

"I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable again." She whispered "I know the other night was bad enough for you and I'm sorry that I made it worse for you."

"I accept your apology." He said "You know better than to put me into awkward situations Penny."

She sighed in defeat. "Am I banished?" she said like a child being reprimanded, her face automatically slipping into a pout.

If she hadn't been looking at him she would have missed the corner of his mouth lift into a smirk. Her chest tightened as his smirk quickly disappeared and she desperately hoped that they would be able to get past this.

"No you are not banished, you only have two strikes remember?" he shook his head "Honestly you have the memory span of a goldfish."

She was a little offended at that but she recognised that he was teasing her in his own way.

"So you're not mad that I kissed you?"

"While I do agree that it seems to have made things a little awkward between us, no I am definitely not mad. "

"Good" she said a smile creeping on to her face.

"I do have a question though." He said causing her heart to stop "Why do you think that the other night was "bad" for me?"

"Well I put you in a weird situation, which seemed to freak you out so I assumed—"

"Why?" he interrupted.

"Why what?"

"Why did you want to kiss me Penny?" he slowly turned to face her.

"What?" she spluttered.

"Why did you want to kiss me when you know how Leonard feels for you?" he repeated.

"I...err well I guess..." she trailed off as she saw the look in his eyes. She didn't want to tell him the truth just yet. She didn't feel he would understand at this point in time.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she said seeing a glimmer of distaste in his eyes.

"Like what?"

"Like you think I'm some sort of slut?"

"I do not think you are a slut Penny."

"Then why are you looking at me like that, like I've disappointed you?"

"I just don't think that using me to somehow get back at Leonard is a good idea, in fact I know it isn't a good idea as it will injure his feelings. You know he believes he is in love with you."

"That's what you think I'm doing?" she demanded, getting angry despite herself. "Using you to get Leonard to stop liking me?"

"Well that is the only conclusion I have been able to come to from looking at the evidence."

"What evidence?" she said scowling.

"Well for instance you have seemed to have no interest in returning Leonard's romantic feelings, apart for a few minor instances where you used his intense attraction to make you feel better, say, after a bad date or a horrible day at work. You have tried to reciprocate his feelings and yet found that you do not work well as a couple and yet he still refuses to let go of his romantic fantasies that he is in love with you. Therefore the only reason I can think of your attentions towards me is to form a barrier between you and Leonard."

"You're wrong." She stated, more than a little hurt by his assumptions. "For one thing Leonard is not in love with me. I am merely something he can idolise. Like when you guys have those action figures in your room, you always look at them but you can't touch them because they are valuable. Well that's how he sees me, and that is not loving someone it's an obsession!"

He opened his mouth to interrupt but she carried on as if he wasn't there.

"And despite your seemingly low opinion of me I would never use anyone! I'm not that sort of girl. Yeah I know I have made many mistakes in the past with Leonard but we all know that it wouldn't work between us, not when he puts me on such a high pedestal because it's too easy to fall. I thought you knew me better than that Sheldon. I mean you know me better than the other guys just like I know you the best! How could you think I could possibly be so cruel as to crush Leonard like that?"

He seemed to think about that, I could see him arguing with himself. She couldn't stand it any longer.

"I kissed you because I like you Sheldon." She said bluntly.

"You like me?" he stammered, his eyebrows rose in shock. "As in... you are attracted to me?"

"Yes." She said standing up "That is why I wanted to kiss you! Only I didn't realise that was the reason until I actually kissed you and then it was too late and I had messed everything up! And I feel horrible because I forced you into it and it has made you think all these horrible things about me."

"Penny stop!" he said getting to his feet and grasping the tops of her arms. "You are telling me the truth?"

"Of course I am!"

He released her as though she was on fire and looked at her in shock.

"That doesn't make sense" he murmured.

"You're telling me!" she exclaimed in exasperation running her hands through her hair. "I am sorry about Leonard, but you know that it would never work between the two of us in a relationship, even more so now that I have realised my feelings for you."

He stiffened as though she had electrocuted him and his face began to twitch. She sighed sadly and sank onto the sofa.

"I shouldn't have dumped this on you. I'm sorry honey. You can leave if you want."

He blinked in surprise and looked down at her. He made his way to her door and glanced at her over his shoulder. "Goodnight Penny." She closed her eyes in pain and waited for the door to shut. When she heard the loud click echo around her quiet living room she collapsed onto the sofa, allowing herself to cry. If she hadn't ruined their friendship before she certainly had now. She couldn't imagine not talking to him every day, only crossing paths when they walked past each other on the stairwell. She struggled to breathe and her chest hurt her so much. She cried until her throat burned and her eyes drooped in exhaustion and she slipped into a deep sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**I am sooo sorry! i know it has been months since i last uploaded! but i was stressed with exams and other things and so i physically did not have the time to write anymore... but i have finished all my exams now and so i will hopefully be uploading weekly. i have 9 chapters already written and as an appology i will upload 2 now and i hope that you like them! please review because i want to make sure that i keep the characterisation and storyline realistic, and any critisism or tips are more than welcome! once again i hope you like it! xxxxx **

5:

It was finally Saturday, and her 24th birthday. Penny woke up with a very painful headache and her eyes were stinging from crying the night before. She groaned and hauled herself off the sofa, ignoring the pain that shot through her shoulder from sleeping at a funny angle. She made her way to the bathroom and cried out in dismay at her reflection. Her usually unblemished skin was covered in angry red blotches, her blonde curls were messy and tangled and her usually hazel eyes were blood shot and angry looking. She threw herself into the shower, and after two hours she was back to normal. She had dressed in tight denim jean shorts, and a light blue halter neck top. She pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and decided against make up. She glanced at the clock on her wall and saw that it was almost two in the afternoon and started to make dinner. She had just put the pasta in the hot water when she realised that she didn't have any milk for the cheese sauce. She cursed loudly as she also realised that the only way she was going to get milk in time to save her dinner was if she nipped over to the guy's apartment to borrow some. She grabbed the guy's emergency key from the hook and rushed to their apartment. She knocked hoping that no one would be home. After several minutes there still wasn't a response so she used the key to let herself into their apartment. She had her head in the fridge when a tense voice cut through the air.

"Penny! What on earth are you doing?"

She jumped at least a foot in the air and a metre away from the fridge, her hands held up in surrender. "Wassamadda?" she mumbled around the mouthful of chocolate that she had found in the fridge.

"Penny I have told you time and time again that you cannot just help yourself to the contents of our fridge!" Sheldon scolded standing on the step that led to their bedrooms.

Penny had stopped listening to him and was simply gaping at him. Sheldon appeared to only be wearing a bathrobe with his dark hair still wet from the shower he had left to catch her in the act. She couldn't help but notice that his chest was in fact extremely toned, and not as thin as she had once suspected. He continued to ramble on about social etiquette and she was simply stood there blushing and trying not to think of whether he had any clothes on underneath his robe. All of a sudden she remembered her reason for being in their apartment in the first place.

"Oh no!" she shrieked and ran back to her apartment dismayed to find that the pasta was boiling over. Without thinking she grabbed the handle to pour the contents down the sink causing the boiling water to spill over the sides of the sauce plan and splash over her bare legs. She screamed in pain and dropped the pan in the sink.

"Penny!" Sheldon cried from the doorway "What on earth-?" he stopped as he saw the tears in her eyes and the sore skin of her thigh. He rushed forward and pulled her towards the bathroom. Once inside he lifted her so that she was sat on the edge of the bath with her feet in the tub. He turned on the cold water instantly and thrust her leg beneath the faucet. She wrapped an arm around his neck for balance and squeezed her eyes shut as the water hit the burn. After several minutes the pain died down and she whimpered as he pulled her injured leg towards him to examine it.

He shut off the water. "You were very lucky Penny; we managed to catch it in time. I don't think that you will have a mark once the redness fades." He said with a clinical tone, before he added "Though I must say your idiocy amazes me more and more each day. Did you not consider that the _boiling _water could burn you?"

She pouted and turned to face him. It was only then that she realised how close they were, his face only inches from her own. However Sheldon being Sheldon seemed completely oblivious to how their close proximity was affecting her.

"I take it that it does not hurt as much?" he said looking up at her.

She shook her head and examined her leg and she could see that the redness was fading already.

"I'm sorry Sheldon" she whispered "I always seem to cause trouble for you, don't I?"

"Yes you're right." He said bluntly towelling off her leg and she felt that familiar pain shoot through her chest. "However it is nothing that I am not capable of handling." He added with amusement lighting up his eyes.

Her eyes snapped to his and she couldn't help but smile as she realised that he was joking with her. It was very hard to tell with Sheldon because he rarely smiled, however she had watched him for so long that she knows all of his little quirks. She hugged him loosely.

"Thank you Sheldon."

"Yes, yes" he said patting her awkwardly on the shoulder before untangling himself from her embrace. "Now that that little drama is over, why were you stealing from our fridge...again?"

"Well I was making dinner," she said ignoring him as he made a face that clearly said _obviously _"when I realised that I didn't have any milk for the sauce, so I popped over to yours to borrow some. And before you say anything I did knock but no one answered. So I let myself in before my food could be ruined."

He seemed to accept this explanation and led her back into the living room. "I take it that you no longer require my assistance?"

"No thank you, I will be fine now."

"Good" he said and he left her apartment. Just before the door shut it swung open again and he popped his head through the doorway. "Oh and Penny?" she glanced at him questioningly "Happy birthday." He said before shutting the door behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

6:

It was half eight and Penny had just finished curling her hair before going out to her birthday party. She stepped away from the mirror to examine her outfit. She was wearing a halter neck black dress that fell to just below her knees, strappy black stilettos that were open to show her freshly painted red toenails. She had left her eyes bare with only mascara and some eyeliner along with some red lipstick. She grabbed her bag and went across the hall.

"Hey guys! Tonight my friends are throwing a birthday party for me and I was wondering if you might want to come?"

"A party?" Howard said excitedly "Will all your hot friends be there? They will right?"

"I think you have forgotten Walowitz that we have plans for this evening." Sheldon scolded from his seat.

"How could I forget?" Howard muttered dryly from his end of the sofa.

"That's fine." She said sadly "I guess I will see you guys tomorrow." She waved at them; Leonard was glaring resentfully at Sheldon, and left to go to the party.

The party was in full swing when she got there and she was greeted by everyone singing happy birthday at the top of her lungs. She smiled happily at them, reminding herself that she didn't need four certain individuals to have fun. However as she scanned the room she noticed four out of place figures sat in a booth towards the back of the room. She ran over to them excitedly.

"What are you guys doing here?" she squealed as she came to a stop before them.

"Well we were under the impression that we were invited." Sheldon remarked dryly from his seat at the far end of the booth.

"Well of course! But I thought you guys had plans tonight?"

"Yeah!" Leonard said beaming "This! We weren't going to miss your birthday!"

"Happy Birthday!" they chorused, and she noted that even Sheldon mumbled it along with them. She gave them all a hug and a kiss on the cheek and then slid into the booth beside Raj.

"Here are your presents!" Howard said and they all produced neatly wrapped packages, she was amused to see that they all had pictures of some sort of superhero on them.

She took Leonards first and was happy to see that it was a Wonder Woman action figure. "Aw geez thanks Leonard! She's great! I used to love Wonder Woman as a kid!"

"Yeah well I thought she kind of resembled you, and it can be kind of a good luck charm for your next audition." He said shyly his cheeks flaming red.

"Me next!" Raj said after he had chugged down his green cocktail and handed her his present. It was a Hello Kitty kite.

"Oh wow honey I didn't think they made these anymore!" even though it was a little strange she found she liked it anyway.

"Well we go kite flying so I thought that you would want to join us if you had your own!" he said while Howard gave him a funny look.

"Aw thank you sweetie!" she said with a smile.

"I think you will like mine." Howards said in what he thought was a seductive tone.

She took the box gingerly and pulled out its contents, a lacy black and pink bra and panties set. She was surprised to see that they were actually quite tasteful, considering what he could have bought her, and so she appreciated his effort to tone it down.

"Thanks Howard, I actually think they aren't too bad. And they are the right size! I'm not sure I want to know how you got that right. Thanks sweetie!" He beamed with pleasure at her reaction, as she had punched him in the face after receiving her last present from him.

Unlike the others Sheldon simply handed her the small square box and nodded at her. It seems that he felt his present needed no introduction as she knew it was from him. She couldn't help but smile as she remembered the last time she received a present from him, and the hug that followed it. She pulled off the comic strip wrapping paper and found a slim black box. She lifted the lid slowly and gasped in surprise. It was a silver necklace with a shooting star pendant with a diamond as the star and the silver tail trailing after it. She looked at him shocked.

"Sheldon it's beautiful, I love it. Thank you." She unclasped it and fastened it around her neck, her fingers stroking it in amazement. She got up from her seat and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek. Just at the moment a hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her backwards, two strong arms wrapping around her waist.

"Kurt!" she exclaimed pulling at the arms around her. "Come on let me go!"

"One dance baby that's all I ask." He said walking to the dance floor and tugging her along with him. She shuddered as he put her arms around his neck and pulled her close, though she could not blame him, for his commanding nature, as it was the very thing that caused her to be attracted to him, his manliness. However she had now found a new definition of manliness and she could not stop her eyes from drifting over to where the guys sat watching the dance floor. Kurt started singing along with the words to her, which never failed to make her laugh and she let him lift her from the floor as she laughed, making their chests collide. Eventually the song ended and she made her way to a couple of her girlfriends that were stood looking bored by the bar.

"Hey girls, why aren't you dancing?"

"Have you seen all the idiots that are here Penny?" Her friend Stacy said running a hand through her dark hair.

"Why don't you ask those guys to dance?" she said pointing at the guys who were roaring with laughter over something, even Sheldon was chuckling to himself.

"Sure!" her friend Jennifer said excitedly "They look fun!" she bounced over dragging Stacy and her other friend Claire over with her. She hoped that the girls took a liking to Leonard, Raj and Howard so that she had an excuse to spend time with Sheldon. She shook her head sadly and left to talk to the rest of her friends and dance a bit more.

About an hour later she finally made it off the dance floor and headed back to talk to the guys only to find Raj sat on his own looking very upset.

"Honey what's the matter? Where are the other guys?"

Raj lifted his head and looked at her though heavy lidded eyes; with five empty cocktail glasses in front of him she knew that he was very drunk by this point.

"They hooked up with those girls" he said dejectedly taking her beer bottle off her and drinking what was left of its contents.

"What? All of them?" she exclaimed her eyes scanning the room frantically for them. She spotted Howard making out with a very drunk Jennifer in the middle of the dance floor while she swayed along with the beat, Leonard and Stacy were talking by the bar but when Leonard saw Penny looking he stood on his tip toes to kiss the tall brunette, she seemed surprised at first but responded enthusiastically. That meant Sheldon was with Claire. She hugged Raj goodbye and pushed him towards a blonde girl she knew had a fairly laid back attitude to guys and dashed towards the fire escape which was slightly ajar. She stepped though just in time to see Claire wrap her arms around Sheldon. She gasped and her hand flew to the necklace as she watched their faces growing closer until their lips joined. She let go of the door in surprise and it slammed shut causing the pair to break apart.

"Penny!" Claire said happily "you were right! These guys are great!" she looped her arm around his arm and beamed up at him, yet Sheldon didn't take his eyes off Penny, guilt leaking into his dark blue eyes.

"See I told you!" Penny said cheerfully, ignoring Sheldon and the tears that were threatening to overcome her. "I know a good one when I see one."

Claire smiled and kissed Sheldon on the cheek and snuggled up against him.

"So I take it you guys are having a good time then?" she forced out whilst desperately wanting to run away.

"This evening has been nothing but pleasant." Sheldon said nodding stiffly.

"Good!" she almost shouted, her eyes stinging and her smile feeling bigger by the second. "Well I can see that I interrupted something so I will leave you guys to it!"

"Thanks Penny! Sheldon and I were just about to get _better_ acquainted." Claire said while wiggling her eyebrows. Penny felt completely nauseated and her eyesight began to get blurry, she realised her tears were showing so she turned away and opened the door to get back inside.

"Ok guys you two have fun!" she said waving over her shoulder as she made her way inside.

She made her way back to Raj who was sat at the booth with the blonde girl, who listened intently as her told her of the many wonders of India. She sat beside them unnoticed before her sniffles became uncontrollable and she began to sob. Raj jumped at least a foot in the air in surprise as he hadn't realised she was there.

"Penny? What's the matter?" he asked worriedly and she could do nothing but cry. Ignoring the protests of the blonde he was with Raj put his arms around her comfortingly and stroked her hair while she cried. Ten minutes later she calmed herself down and pulled herself away from him.

"I'm sorry Raj I don't know what came over me." She said wiping her eyes with the back of her hands.

"It's ok Penny" he said with a small laugh "Do you want to dance?" he said just as a rather upbeat song came on.

"You know, I think that would be a great idea." She said taking his hand and together they walked onto the dance floor. Raj was obviously trying to make her laugh as he was doing some very strange dance moves, pulling funny faces the entire time. She laughed loudly and joined in and in no time the two of them were singing the lyrics as loud as they could and falling into fits of giggles when either of them messed up. By the end of the song they were exhausted and they collapsed back into their booth. They were joined after a moment by Stacy followed by a very moody looking Leonard.

"Hey guys!" she said giggling.

"Hi." Leonard said scowling at her. He must be angry that she didn't react when he tried to make her jealous.

"Wow that looked fun!" Stacy said eyeing up Raj who smiled back proudly.

"I am the master at goofy dancing." He said in a deep voice and he puffed his chest out making Penny and Stacy giggle and Leonard roll his eyes with a small reluctant smile. Howard stomped up to the booth and slid in on the other side of Raj, an injured look on his face alongside a very pink looking handprint on his cheek.

"That is what you get for being too "hands on" with girls Howard." Penny said sternly.

"I know, I know" he grumbled "But you can't blame a guy for trying!" he said with a sly smile.

They all laughed at him and Penny went to get him a cold drink to hold against his cheek.

They spent half an hour just chatting and drinking, with Stacy occasionally dragging Leonard to the dance floor when a slow song came on. A shadow fell across their table.

"Mind if we join?" Claire said as her and Sheldon stood at the end of the table.

"Sure, no problem!" Leonard said and he scooted over to make room for them. Raj looked at Penny as she stiffened when they sat opposite her. Her mouth was still in a smile but she could feel the edges failing the longer she tried to keep it there. Raj saw this and placed his arm around her shoulders while he told the story of Howard breaking the toilet of the space shuttle, causing the entire table to be shaking with laughter. Leonard seemed outraged as she let Raj keep his arm around her, but for some reason she knew that it was just Raj being a good friend, and not all the elaborate, and most likely explicit, stories Leonard seemed to be picturing. Penny knew she needed to get out of there, as she couldn't keep watching Claire putting her hands all over Sheldon without making some sort of scene, which was something she definitely wanted to avoid so she slid out the booth.

"Alright, well I think I am going to go home now. Thanks for coming everyone! It's been the best birthday ever!" she picked up her bag and turned to leave.

"I'll come with you Penny." Raj said and she nodded, happy that she didn't have to be alone in the cab.

They both waved to everyone and went out the front to catch a cab home. They didn't speak to each other until they were inside the cab, and then Raj turned to look at her.

"You have a crush on Sheldon don't you?"

She froze.

"What?" she cried "Are you crazy? Who would like Sheldon?"

"You." He said with a smug smile.

Damn. Well she had walked right in to that one.

"No I don't. Where's the proof?" she said stubbornly.

"Well for one thing you burst into tears after seeing him with that gorgeous red head in there."

"She is not Gorgeous!" Penny snarled "So what if she has perfect hair, and blue eyes, and a body to die for? Her personality sucks!"

"Yeah," Raj said sarcastically, "because guys don't care at all about looks."

"Damned straight!"

"Hmm," he pondered "Then why do you always spend so much time on your looks if guys don't care about them?"

Stupid scientist.

"Ok so maybe they do, but I would have thought that Sheldon would not be as superficial!"

"So you do like him."

"Aw crap!" she cursed.

"I knew it!" he cried triumphantly "How long have you liked him?"

"I don't know for sure, I just realised that that's what I'd been feeling since you guys came back." She said giving in.

"Wow, someone normal actually likes Sheldon."` Raj said chuckling "Who would have thought this day would come?"

"You better not tell anyone!" she said punching him in the arm.

"I won't, I won't!" he said laughing loudly. Then he stopped. "Does he know?"

She nodded reluctantly.

"That idiot! What does he think he is doing going off with that other girl at _your _birthday party? And to think I thought that guy was smart."

"Thanks Raj. You're a good friend." He smiled widely at her. "So come on! I told you a secret and a pretty embarrassing one at that! It's your turn to tell me who you like!"

He blanched. "I can't tell you that Penny."

"Aw come on! I like Sheldon, who could be worse than Sheldon?"

"Howard."

"Yeah ok I guess Howard would be worse, but still! I won't tell anyone I promise! Tell me!"

"I just did." He said uncomfortably, avoiding her gaze.

"You like Howard?" she said and he squirmed in his seat. "I would never have guessed."

"Good!" he said "That's how I need it to be! If my parents or anyone at the university or Howard ever found out I don't know what I would do!" he buried his face in his hands.

"Honey!" she cried in surprise "Don't worry I won't tell anyone I promise! It's not as bad as you think, Howard is a great guy when he wants to be, and he's always been a good friend to you!" his shoulders began to shake "Hey, hey, hey don't cry!" she said pulling him to her, her eyes watering as she watched her friend fall to pieces.

"I just had to tell someone." He cried "For years I have hidden it from everyone, I just can't do it anymore!"

"You can trust me ok sweetie?" she said soothingly "You can talk to me about it whenever you need to. I will always be here for you, ok?"

He nodded and rubbed at his eyes, reminding her of a small child.

"I knew I could trust you Penny, I always thought that if I ever had the guts to tell someone that it would be you."

She hugged him close "Well I won't tell anyone honey, not ever."

The cab pulled up to her apartment and she payed the money while Raj sorted himself out. By the time she turned to face him again he was back to normal.

"You gonna be ok sweetie?" She asked.

"Yeah I'll be fine, thanks Penny."

"Good." She smiled and gave him a hug before turning towards her apartment. "Hey!" she said as something occurred to her "If you're gay, why can't you talk to women without a drink?"

His expression turned bashful. "Well women always made me nervous, even as a child. It's not that I can't, it's that I won't. I guess even at that age I always preferred guys." He chuckled, trying to make a joke about it.

"Whoa" she said laughing "I thought it would be something like that, because I always found it strange that you couldn't talk to women and yet you always talked perfectly to your mother."

He blanched. Then burst into laughter. "You're right!" he cackled "How could three scientists not figure out in six years, what you figured out in one video call!"

"I guess they just aren't good with people like I am." She said with a wink. "This means I want you to talk to me from now on though!"

He looked uncomfortable. "Penny..." he started.

"No!" she said sternly. "You can just say that we got close after tonight and you are more comfortable with me now, which in a way is the truth. That way you can get away with talking to me. You can't rely on alcohol forever"

His face softened into a smile. "You're a good person Penny."

"You know it!" she joked and they exchanged goodbyes and she went up to her apartment. It was as she was unlocking her door she noticed that there was a long present leaning up the wall beside the door. She opened it puzzled and smiled sadly when she realised what it was. The shiny baseball bat had a pink ribbon tied to the handle and a note attached that said _you will always be protected._


End file.
